New Adults: Somewhere Between Youth and Adulthood

They are immature and dependent, selfish and aimless, and they can’t or won’t grow up.¹ That’s what you read in quite a bit of the literature, because they, the so-called young adults, simply don’t meet the expectations placed on them.

But what exactly are these expectations, and where do they come from?

Erikson (1960s) was a fairly well-known psychoanalyst, and one of his greatest contributions was his intensive study of the phase of adolescence and his introduction of the concept of identity.² Who am I? Who will I become, and who do I want to be? These are the questions that go with it,³ and according to Erikson, they should be answered by the end of adolescence, that is, by about age 18.

The developmental psychologist Havighurst (1970s) made this idea of identity more concrete and introduced developmental tasks that are an expression of this very identity development.⁴ These include, for example, taking on your own gender role, accepting your own body, becoming independent of your parents, and preparing for a career, marriage and family life.⁵ Once all the tasks are checked off, you’ve found your identity. At 18. Phew… to our ears and in our world today, that sounds pretty stressful and, well, a bit unrealistic. But it goes on. Because once you’ve achieved all that, nothing stands in the way of the tasks of young adulthood. These include, among others, choosing a partner, starting a family, raising children and running a household, starting a career and caring for the common good.⁶

The pressure is real.

It’s true that the expectations attached to all these roles have become a little looser and more open to interpretation today than they were a few decades ago, but basically they still exist.⁷ And new expectations have been added: on top of all that, you’re also supposed to stay flexible and mobile, be as unique as possible, and find, optimize and present yourself.
The list is long … And the uncertainty among New Adults because of all these expectations is great. So are the pressure they feel and their stress levels, and not infrequently this leads to feelings of incompetence and of not being good enough.⁸

The dilemma is:

The reality of most New Adults’ lives no longer matches the standard life course defined by Erikson and Havighurst and expected by society: finish school, start and complete vocational training or college, earn money, get married, start a family, all without any major gaps or detours, of course. Life rarely runs in a straight line or follows a set pattern. Today, “normal” isn’t just one possibility, not just one path, but many, and if you look at the New Adults around you, you’ll probably notice exactly that.
So when it comes to all these milestones, the so-called formal developmental markers, the bottom line is really just this: New Adults are a very diverse group.⁹ A categorization based on outward things, on numbers, degrees and certificates, on your address and bank balance, or on a sequence you have to follow, simply doesn’t work.
Times have changed.

Time for a new definition

The American developmental psychologist Jeffrey J. Arnett thought so too. He did research among 18- to 29-year-olds, found that they fit neither the “adolescent” box nor the “young adult” box, and looked for and developed a new concept: one that applies not just to a small minority but to the great majority of this age group.¹⁰
Instead of looking at outward milestones, he focused on the psychological factors of 18- to 29-year-olds. Because of changed social conditions and the resulting pluralization of New Adults’ ways of life, the formal markers, this tying of adulthood to certain outward events, are simply no longer as valid.¹¹

At the core of Arnett’s theory are the following five psychological features of New Adults:

• Exploring their own identity
• A high degree of instability
• A strong self-focus
• Feeling in-between
• A time of possibilities

1. Exploring their own identity¹²

Searching for the right path: that’s what defines and describes New Adults. And while they’re on their way, while they look for their paths and walk them, they develop their identity: they find out who they are, where they’re headed and what they want from life.
What’s interesting is this: Erikson placed identity development in adolescence. Today, however, not only Arnett but other developmental psychologists too say we have to assume that the development of your own identity is no longer completed in adolescence. Based on his studies, Arnett goes one step further: He says not only that identity development takes a bit longer, but that its main focus is in the twenties. Exploring their own identity is the main feature of today’s New Adults.

2. A high degree of instability¹³

Hardly any other phase of life requires so many life-shaping decisions in such a short time; within a few years, almost every aspect of your life changes.¹⁴ As Arnett also concludes, and this makes immediate sense, exploring your own identity therefore makes this phase of life not only very full and intense but also very unstable.
High pressure to develop, constant comparison, fears about the future or psychosocial stress: all of this leads to numerous new vulnerabilities in New Adults, up to and including mental health risks.¹⁵

3. A strong self-focus¹⁶

New Adults are free people: free from the rules of their family of origin and free from the obligations, demands and responsibilities that come with many adult roles.
They are free to take care of themselves and to look for their own path and follow it. And that’s what they do. That’s why no other phase of life is more self-focused than theirs.
That makes sense, too. The many life-shaping decisions, the numerous changes, expectations and uncertainties inevitably lead you to turn your attention to yourself and your own life. A strong focus on yourself is practically necessary to be able to cope with all these open and inherently exciting demands of life.¹⁷
So a certain self-focus (not to be confused with selfishness!) is healthy, normal and even necessary for this phase, that is, temporarily and not forever, in order to find your own identity.

4. Feeling in-between¹⁸

A New Adult is between the rules and obligations of their parents’ home and the responsibilities of adult life, and that is exactly how they feel about life: They feel they belong neither to the group of adolescents nor to the group of adults; they feel somewhere in between.
The reason for this is very simple: the criteria a New Adult uses to define being an adult develop gradually. So over the course of their twenties, the feeling of being in between dominates at first. And slowly, little by little, step by step, it becomes a feeling of being an adult.

5. A time of possibilities¹⁹

New Adults are in a phase of life in which they can make particularly good use of the many possibilities of our multi-option society. Only a few aspects of their future are already definitively settled; in this phase of life, all kinds of possible futures are open to a New Adult.
This perspective is especially important for New Adults who come from challenging families of origin or circumstances, those for whom things so far haven’t gone the way they imagined. At this point in life, they have the chance to think about what they want from life, how they want to live it and shape it. And then they can make their own decisions. Decisions that bring change. Change toward a future that is worth tackling and living! This is the time of possibilities!

The bottom line

Times have changed, and with them the development and characteristics of young people in their twenties. What characterized young adults just a few decades ago no longer applies to the majority of New Adults today.
Along with Jeffrey J. Arnett and his theory of “emerging adulthood,” I therefore argue for redefining this age group. Then a phase of life in which the foundations for the rest of life are laid, and in which nothing less happens than the development of your own identity, would finally get the attention it deserves.
Because if New Adults were recognized as young people who “feel in between” (no longer adolescents, but not yet adults), who are developing their identity, who are self-focused because of this and for this phase, unstable too, but who still look to the future optimistically and with a sense that “anything is possible,” some things that are seen as deficits would be “normal,” stigmas would fall away and (here comes the most important part) new ways of meeting these new demands that have arisen in a changed society would be sought and found.

1. Cf. Hurrelmann, Klaus; Quenzel, Gudrun (2016: 47): Lebensphase Jugend. Eine Einführung in die sozialwissenschaftliche Jugendforschung, 13th ed., Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German). And: Nelson, Larry J. (2017: xii): Series Foreword. In: Padilla-Walker, Laura M.; Nelson, Larry J. (eds.): Flourishing in Emerging Adulthood. Positive Development During the Third Decade of Life, Oxford: Oxford University Press, pp. xi-xiii.
2. Cf., among others, Faltermaier, Toni; Mayring, Philipp; Saup, Winfried; Strehmel, Petra (2014: 55 f., 60): Entwicklungspsychologie des Erwachsenenalters, 3rd ed., Stuttgart: W. Kohlhammer GmbH (in German).
3. Cf. Seiffge-Krenke, Inge (2012: 24): Therapieziel Identität. Veränderte Beziehungen, Krankheitsbilder und Therapie, Stuttgart: Klett-Cotta (in German).
4. Cf. Seiffge-Krenke 2009, cited in: Hurrelmann, Klaus; Quenzel, Gudrun (2016: 36): Lebensphase Jugend. Eine Einführung in die sozialwissenschaftliche Jugendforschung, 13th ed., Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
5. Cf. Rothgang, Georg-Wilhelm; Bach, Johannes (2015: 100): Entwicklungspsychologie, 3rd ed., Stuttgart: W. Kohlhammer GmbH (in German). And: Lohaus, Arnold; Vierhaus, Marc (2015: 253): Entwicklungspsychologie des Kindes- und Jugendalters für Bachelor, 3rd ed., Berlin and Heidelberg: Springer (in German).
6. Cf. Rothgang, Georg-Wilhelm; Bach, Johannes (2015: 100): Entwicklungspsychologie, 3rd ed., Stuttgart: W. Kohlhammer GmbH (in German). And: Lang, Frieder R.; Martin, Mike; Pinquart, Martin (2012: 34): Entwicklungspsychologie: Erwachsenenalter, Göttingen, Bern, Vienna, Paris, Oxford, Prague, Toronto, Cambridge (MA), Amsterdam, Copenhagen and Stockholm: Hogrefe Verlag (in German).
7. Cf. Hurrelmann, Klaus; Quenzel, Gudrun (2016: 25): Lebensphase Jugend. Eine Einführung in die sozialwissenschaftliche Jugendforschung, 13th ed., Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
8. Cf. Keller, Birgit Ulrika (2019: 69, 351): “Emerging Adulthood”: Eine Lebensphase zwischen Instabilität und maximaler Freiheit, Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
9. Cf. Keller, Birgit Ulrika (2019: 74): “Emerging Adulthood”: Eine Lebensphase zwischen Instabilität und maximaler Freiheit, Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
10. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: viii): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.
11. Cf. Keller, Birgit Ulrika (2019: 59, 61): “Emerging Adulthood”: Eine Lebensphase zwischen Instabilität und maximaler Freiheit, Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
12. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: 8-11): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.
13. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: 11-13): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.
14. Cf. Keller, Birgit Ulrika (2019: 30): “Emerging Adulthood”: Eine Lebensphase zwischen Instabilität und maximaler Freiheit, Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
15. Cf. Keller, Birgit Ulrika (2019: 23 f., 32, 69, 146): “Emerging Adulthood”: Eine Lebensphase zwischen Instabilität und maximaler Freiheit, Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
16. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: 13 f.): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.
17. Cf. Hurrelmann, Klaus; Quenzel, Gudrun (2016: 49): Lebensphase Jugend. Eine Einführung in die sozialwissenschaftliche Jugendforschung, 13th ed., Weinheim and Basel: Beltz Juventa (in German).
18. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: 14 f., 17): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.
19. Cf. Arnett, Jeffrey Jensen (2015: 15-17): Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties, 2nd ed., New York: Oxford University Press.