How do I break the ice in a small group or a one-on-one conversation?

Eight pairs of eyes stare at me like deer in the headlights. The participants don’t know each other yet. So on the first evening at camp, I ask my group: “If you could pick a superpower, which one would it be? And why?”

The best conversations all have one thing in common: there’s laughter, or at least a smile or two. But what if all you hear is crickets and the conversation just won’t get going?

Two young men laughing together in a café, one with a laptop on his lap
How to make your conversations fun. Photo: Helena Lopes, Pexels

That’s why I have a list of get-to-know-you questions that help you break the ice. These personal questions are designed for your small groups and one-on-one conversations. Often the first few minutes matter most. And we’ve all been there: the conversation just won’t start, and the mood is still stiff. How could you get things going?

Here’s how to make your conversations fun and good for building relationships:

11 deep questions for group conversations

  1. If you could wear an invisibility cloak for an hour, what would you do?
  2. Suppose you could pick one quality from someone in this room: which one would you want? From whom?
  3. What three qualities would a person have who is the exact opposite of you?
  4. Tell us something about yourself that most people in this group probably don’t know yet.
  5. If a movie could come true for you, which one would you pick? Why?
  6. Which place you’ve been to before would you love to go back to?
  7. Which event in the Bible would you have loved to witness? Why?
  8. If you could ask God one question and he would answer it right away, what would it be?
  9. Looking back, which hard experience in your life do you now see as a gain and a great blessing?
  10. Who in your life would you say is or was a spiritual role model for you?
  11. If you had a time machine, where would you travel?

16 get-to-know-you questions for one-on-one conversations

  1. Do you talk to yourself? About what?
  2. Name three people you really owe something to.
  3. What tradition would you like to start?
  4. What do you know a lot about, and what do you know nothing about?
  5. What wears you out?
  6. If you could get rid of one thing, what would it be?
  7. Are memories something pleasant for you?
  8. Is there something you’re still ashamed of?
  9. Do you like falling asleep or waking up better?
  10. What would you love to be able to do?
  11. The happiest time of my life was …
  12. I keep feeling overwhelmed when …
  13. When I’m afraid, it’s of …
  14. What shook me most in my life was …
  15. The hardest decision of my life was …
  16. Who do you admire? Why?

English version: October 2026