Puberty is one of the most challenging, but also one of the most revealing phases in our children’s lives. In this turbulent transition, in which our kids are neither fully children nor fully adults, they experience a wealth of physical and emotional changes. These insights are based on my experience as a mother of four now-grown children between 26 and 34.

1. Don’t take your kids’ words personally

Each of my children went through this phase in their own unique way. Some withdrew into their own worlds of books or movies, while others felt a strong need to voice their opinions loudly, even if that sometimes led to heated arguments. What I found especially challenging were the hurtful words spoken in the heat of the moment. Remarks like that often hit me hard and hurt me deeply. But one wise piece of advice I received was not to take every harsh word personally, because teenagers often act impulsively and don’t yet have their emotions fully under control.

💡
Teenagers go through many changes and often react impulsively. It’s important to understand that the words they say in the heat of the moment don’t always reflect their true feelings. Don’t let harsh words hurt you too much, and see them as part of the process of their emotional maturing.

2. Use prayer as support

In those difficult times, prayer was an especially valuable tool. I prayed for my children and always tried not to insist rigidly on my own point of view, but to stay open to their feelings and thoughts.

💡
Prayer can be a powerful tool to guide you through this challenging phase. Pray for your children and for the wisdom to understand their feelings and thoughts.

3. Stay open to your kids’ feelings and thoughts

Try to stay open and receptive to your children’s feelings and thoughts. This posture creates a safe and supportive environment in which they can express themselves.

4. Use car rides for communication

Another effective means of connection was car rides. They gave me the chance to get into conversation with my kids and learn more about their worries and thoughts. I also used those rides to share my own life wisdom, even if it didn’t always land on open ears.

🚗
Car rides can be an excellent opportunity to get into conversation with your kids and learn more about their worries and thoughts. Share your own life wisdom with them too, to encourage an open conversation.

5. Invest in your kids

These special moments reminded me how important it is to invest in our children. They are only “on loan” to us for a short time, and it is our task and responsibility to walk alongside them on their way as best we can.

💎
Raising children is a precious task. Take the time to help them discover and develop their abilities and interests. This investment in your kids is a timeless gift that pays off over time.

6. Prepare your kids for life

Sometimes I was accused of being the strictest mother in the church. My answer was always: “I want you to be equipped for life.” Today I am proud and grateful that all four of our children have found their way.

Raising children is without a doubt a special gift and a privilege. It takes patience and love, but if we as parents do our part, God, our heavenly Father, will do his part too.

🎯
It’s important to prepare your kids for life. Be strict sometimes, to equip them for life’s challenges. Your goal is always to raise them to be strong, confident and responsible adults.

7. Treasure the special moments

The most beautiful gift of all? All my children and their families, 17 people in total, come to us for Christmas. That is an unforgettable, timeless gift and a wonderful confirmation of the investment in our children. Puberty can be a challenging time, but it also offers many special moments worth treasuring. Enjoy getting together on special occasions, sharing special experiences, or simply the everyday moments with your kids.

I hope these tips help you get through your kids’ puberty. Remember that you are not alone and that this phase is only temporary. You’re doing a great job!

ℹ️
This article was written by Elfriede Fronius, mother of Andy Fronius and director of the Esther women’s shelter.

English version: September 2026