After a philosophy lecture, a student approached her professor. “Can I talk to you?” she asked. “Of course,” he replied, and they found a quiet spot outside.
“I’m deconstructing,” she said, a little hesitantly.
The professor asked, surprised: “What do you mean by that?”
She took a moment before answering: “It’s not that I’m giving up on Jesus or anything. I’m just trying to see things more clearly. I grew up with this view of Christianity that my family and my church taught me. But now that I’m studying theology, meeting other people and seeing all kinds of things online, I’m asking myself whether what I’ve always believed is really the whole picture. I want to be sure that what I believe is actually in the Bible and not just what I was told. So I’m taking apart everything I know about being a Christian and trying to figure out whether it really fits what the Bible says. I’m trying to put it all back together in a way that makes sense to me and matches what I’ve read in the Bible.”
This scenario came up in a conversation between Sean McDowell and John Marriott. This student didn’t give up her faith, but she critically questioned the version of Christianity she had inherited. Her journey reflects a growing trend among young people: a journey of deconstructing faith. In a recently released video, Sean and John offer a guide to deconstruction in which they name 9 reasons for it and show ways to walk alongside young people in this process. In this article I summarize the most important points. At the end you’ll find some questions that can help you in conversations with your teenagers. (The quotes below are rendered from the conversation, not verbatim transcripts.)
9 reasons for deconstruction
Deconstruction is often a process of critically questioning and rethinking one’s own convictions.
“I was just taught this kind of Christianity, but there are other kinds. Why do I actually believe exactly what I believe? And are there maybe other kinds of Christianity that fit me better and that I’m more in line with?”
The process of deconstruction can be triggered by various factors, which Marriott and McDowell explore more closely in their latest book, Set Adrift: Deconstructing What You Believe Without Sinking Your Faith. Here is the short version:
1. The need for certainty
Many people who rethink their faith have somehow gotten the impression that knowing something about God means being absolutely certain. They think faith and doubt don’t go together. But philosophical certainty is something we can’t grasp. Being wrong always remains a possibility. Yet if we only believe what we know for sure, we find fewer answers. Many then ask themselves: “How can I be sure of what I believe? What if I’m wrong?” And they start questioning their faith. If someone tells you, “I’m just not sure,” simply ask: “Why do you think you have to be sure?” Many feel relieved when they realize they don’t have to be completely certain. Being honest is enough. God meets them right there. Some teenagers look for absolute certainty in their faith. They want a kind of philosophical certainty that is hard to reach. That can lead them to question their faith.
“You can be very confident that something is true, but absolute philosophical certainty is actually an illusion.” (John Marriott)
It’s okay to ask someone who doubts: “Do you believe Christianity is true?” If the answer is “yes,” because the person has already wrestled extensively with the pros and cons and the evidence points that way, then that is already faith. Then you can live out your faith and test it, and that often strengthens faith more than continuing to binge one intellectual argument after another on YouTube. There comes a point to take the step and actually test what you believe. As we all know, nobody has ever said “I do” to their spouse with one hundred percent certainty. Here too, it takes a step of trust and faith.
2. Hypocrisy
When teenagers experience church leaders or others in the church being hypocritical and not living according to their own convictions, that can be very disappointing. They may then ask themselves whether what these people believe is true at all.
“Hypocrisy is a real problem, especially when it comes from people who shaped us in the faith, like our spiritual fathers and mothers.” (Sean McDowell)
3. Sin
When teenagers struggle with sin themselves or see sin in others, this can lead to a deconstruction of their faith. That can mean wrestling with their own failures or the failures of the people around them and then doubting whether faith can really change anything. Some also reinterpret the Bible so they can keep doing things they actually consider wrong.
“Sin often becomes an issue in our lives when we want to do something we previously believed we weren’t allowed to do.” (John Marriott)
4. Unanswered questions
Intellectual doubts or unresolved theological questions can have a significant impact on faith. This includes wrestling with difficult topics like the problem of evil, the credibility of the Bible and other complex theological questions to which there seem to be no easy answers.
Marriott explains: “Sometimes you reach a point where you say, ‘That’s enough, I really need to stop and think about all the questions I have about my faith.’ Then you start taking your faith apart, laying everything on the table and going through it: What do I believe about this doctrine? What do I think about that? I think for many people that is an important trigger for rethinking their faith. You don’t have to have an answer to every question in order to believe the way the Bible asks us to.”
5. Bad theology
Misunderstandings or misinterpretations of biblical teaching can lead to confusion and disappointment. This can also be the transmission of a version of Christianity that is legalistic, too narrow or not in line with the Bible.
Marriott: “When we talk to people who have left the faith, most say they did it because of their values or for intellectual reasons, or because they were disappointed by God or by church people. But almost all of them feel freer and happier after turning away from the faith. Our hope, though, is that people don’t simply walk away, but question the parts of their faith that may not be biblical, and in doing so discover the true heart of Jesus.”
6. Spiritual abuse
Experiences of spiritual abuse or hurt in a church context can have profound effects. This can involve manipulation, control or other forms of unhealthy spiritual authority that damage a person’s perception of God and faith.
“In almost every case I’ve seen, whether someone leaves the faith or keeps it, there is often hurt and disappointment. That pain is often the reason for a change in faith.” (John Marriott)
7. Never really decided
Some people realize that they never really understood or decided on their faith. They may have grown up in a Christian environment but later, often in their twenties, realize that they never really made the faith their own.
“Okay, I grew up with this faith and lived my life by it, and I had all these different views about the end times and the role of women and the order of salvation and, you know, young earth, old earth. But as an adult who is responsible before God for my own convictions, I had to rethink all of it.” (John Marriott)
8. The need for authenticity
Today’s culture places great value on being authentic and true to yourself. This influences the way young people perceive their faith. They often feel pushed to shape their faith so that it matches their personal identity and values, which are strongly shaped by the current culture.
Marriott explains: “Everyone has their own story, and all of them are socially constructed in some way. If that’s the case, then it’s almost immoral for someone to subordinate their own desires and values to a social construct that tells them how to behave. If there is no clear definition of good and evil, why should I do what others say? That would even be wrong. I shouldn’t simply accept what others consider right. I should be free to be who I really am, and that is determined by my feelings, my emotions and my psychological state. And that is fundamentally different from the world older generations grew up in. And that is the script every young person is handed today and expected to live by.”
9. Cultural influences
Today’s culture, especially when it comes to topics like sexuality and personal freedom, often shakes traditional Christian views. Many teenagers feel torn between what the culture says and what Christianity teaches. This can lead them to question their faith and adapt it to fit better into the cultural waters they swim in. The difficult part is that they often don’t know exactly why they are doing it.
“If the most important thing for someone is to be authentic, then our most important value becomes giving people the freedom to decide for themselves.” (John Marriott)
Walking alongside in the deconstruction process: a practical guide
Listen actively and don’t judge
- Create an atmosphere of trust for an open conversation.
- Ask clarifying questions like: “What exactly do you mean by ‘deconstruction’?” and “How long have you been thinking about this?”
- Explore the background of their questions to understand whether cultural influences play a role. Avoid assumptions or hasty conclusions.
Foster emotional support and community
- Ask about their feelings: “How do you feel in this process?”
- Ask about their support network: “Do you have someone you can talk to about this?”
- Encourage them not to make the journey alone, but to join a group where they can take their faith apart and put it back together with the help of others.
Talk about their understanding of the Bible
- Ask about their view of the Bible: “How do you see the Bible in your process?”
- Clarify their willingness to engage with biblical texts: “Are you open to letting Scripture guide you?”
Clarify the scope of the questions
- Distinguish between different kinds of doubt: “Is this about how Christianity is interpreted, or are you doubting the fundamental truth of the faith?”
Provide resources
- Recommend helpful materials like books or podcasts that address their questions specifically. A good starting point is Set Adrift by John Marriott and Sean McDowell; for the intellectual questions, I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist by Norman Geisler and Frank Turek.
Be a role model
- Share your own experiences with doubt and how you dealt with it, to show authenticity and understanding.
Respect their journey
- Acknowledge that every person’s path is unique. Avoid prescribing a timeline or an outcome.
Pray for wisdom
- Keep seeking God’s guidance on how best to support them.
English version: September 2026
