> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://thepulse.org/en/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Practical Volunteer Training: Relationships and Pastoral Care with Teenagers - URL: https://thepulse.org/en/volunteer-training-relationships-and-pastoral-care/ - Published: 2023-06-26T04:02:43.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-21T08:51:11.000Z - Description: Well-prepared volunteers are essential for a great camp. That’s why we’ve put together this training outline on “relationships and pastoral care with teenagers” to help you prepare your team. - Author: Esther Penner - Tags: Articles, #target-leaders, #topic-team, #age-teens, #context-small-group, #topic-safeguarding ### Introduction 🧰 ****Materials:** Paper and a pen for each person, plus index cards, tape and dot stickers, or an online polling tool like Slido 💡 During the time of reflection and prayer, you can play quiet music in the background. **Reflection and prayer** Grab a sheet of paper and a pen, spread out around the room and think about this question: “How am I doing right now? What’s taking up the most space in my head today?” Write down every thought. Everything that comes to mind. Don’t try to decide whether you should write it down or not. Just write it down. Then take all of it and talk to Jesus about it. If it’s worries, hand them over to him. If it’s questions, bring them to him and ask him for answers. Take the whole bundle of your thoughts and lay it down before Jesus. Then ask him to prepare your heart for our time together and to lay on your heart what matters to him. After you’ve talked with Jesus, write this down: When you think about camp, about your preparation, the time at camp and afterward: - What do you hope for (for yourself, for the team and for the teens)? - What questions do you have? - What worries you? - What fears do you have? **Expectations and questions** Look at what you’ve written down: “What would have to happen for you to go home after this training and say it was worth being here?” Now write down all the questions you have and would like an answer to. ℹ️ Hand out pens and index cards. Have your volunteers write their questions on the cards (one question per card) and then put them up where everyone can see them (on the board or the wall). Once everyone has put up their questions, ask your volunteers to each put a dot sticker on the cards with the questions that matter most to them. You can also run this process with an online tool like Slido. Collecting the questions and then voting gives you a good overall picture of your volunteers’ needs and questions. ### Building trust, but how? ℹ️ The foundation for “relationships and pastoral care with teenagers” is trust. Everyone, no matter their age, already has plenty of experience with it. That’s why it makes sense to help your volunteers sort out their thoughts, ideas and associations around “trust” and to bring their memories and experiences to mind before you get to their specific questions. It also gives you the chance to sort out your own thoughts and priorities for the rest of the training. 🧰 Materials: A sheet of paper (letter size or A4) and a pen for each person, a flip chart or whiteboard and markers **On your own** - Write “trust” in the middle of the sheet and draw a circle around it. Then draw two more circles around it, leaving plenty of space between them. - In the inner circle, write all your associations, thoughts and ideas around the topic of “trust.” **In pairs:** Then talk in pairs about these questions: - How have people in your life built trust in your relationship? What did they say or do that told you, “I can trust this person”? Write your thoughts in the next circle out. - Where was trust broken? What led to it? What did the person say or do that made you suspicious or gave you the feeling, “I can’t trust this person, they’re not genuine, they don’t mean what they say”? Write your thoughts in the outermost circle. ℹ️ ****With the whole group:** On a flip chart or whiteboard, collect your volunteers’ thoughts on these questions: 1\. What builds trust? 2\. What leads to a breach of trust? What creates mistrust? 💡 ****Alternative method** Afterward, you can also use the [World Café method](https://theworldcafe.com/key-concepts-resources/world-cafe-method/?ref=thepulse.org) and have your volunteers work in three groups on the question “How can we build relationships of trust with teenagers?” Give each group one of these three focuses: 1\. Before camp 2\. During camp 3\. After camp ### Going deeper: answering the questions In this section you’ll find some of the questions I was asked in my seminar, along with my answers. In some cases I’ve linked articles and resources whose content I used to answer the questions. #### How do I best handle outsiders in the group and motivate the team to work together? To answer this question, I gave the volunteers the following case study to work on and then collected their ideas with the whole group. ****Case study: Lisa** Lisa is a 13-year-old participant at camp. She’s shy and hasn’t found her place in the group yet. She finds it hard to make new friends. In group situations she’s passive and unsure of herself. More and more, she seeks out her group leaders and takes her cues from them. ****Task** Work in small groups and come up with ideas together for how you can support Lisa in building her self-confidence and help her form new relationships so that she feels more comfortable in the group. - How can you create a welcoming and supportive environment where Lisa feels comfortable? - How can you encourage her to take an active part in group activities and make new friends? #### Which topics are best for connecting with teens and winning their trust? Teenagers wrestle with the same questions as the generations before them. Who am I? Where do I fit? What difference can I make? ➡️ [The 3 big questions teenagers ask (Fuller Youth Institute)](https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/3-big-questions/?ref=thepulse.org) Some of the main issues on teenagers’ minds right now: - ****Mental health:** feeling overwhelmed by digital influences, pressure to perform, depression, suicidal thoughts - ****Global issues:** climate change, natural disasters, wars and so on. Teenagers take in these issues unfiltered through social media. - ****Gender questions:** the question of gender identity - ****Sexuality:** access to pornography, and the variety of sexual orientations and kinds of relationships portrayed in the media At the same time, every teenager is unique. To find out what moves a teenager and what’s on their mind, ask them questions that show genuine interest, and engage with the things that matter to them. Here are more resources to help you: ➡️ [Pulse newsletter](https://thepulse.org/en/signup/) ➡️ [Icebreaker Questions That Get Real Conversations Going](https://thepulse.org/en/18-interesting-questions-for-unique-conversations/) #### What’s on teens’ minds? What are their biggest burdens and worries? ➡️ [The 3 big questions teenagers ask (Fuller Youth Institute)](https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/3-big-questions/?ref=thepulse.org) ➡️ [Pastoral Conversations with Teenagers: 7 Practical Tips](https://thepulse.org/en/pastoral-conversations-with-teenagers-7-practical-tips/) #### How do I win teens’ trust? ➡️ [10 Tips for Winning the Trust of Teenagers](https://thepulse.org/en/10-tips-for-winning-the-trust-of-teenagers/) #### How do I handle a participant who tells me his parents made him come to camp, but he has zero interest in being here? First, celebrate that he’s here and part of your group. It’s okay not to want to be here. Meet him where he is with his feelings. Maybe there was a time when you were made to do something you didn’t want to do. Maybe you can still remember what you thought or felt. Mirror that, or say: “It’s probably really lousy for you to be forced into something you don’t want to do. How did that make you feel? What would you rather have done than come to camp?” Show him through your reaction and your questions that you notice him and see him. Give him room to express his feelings. In the conversation, also be careful not to judge his parents’ behavior. (There are situations where that’s appropriate, but this isn’t one of them.) With the question “What would you rather have done?” you’ll find out what he enjoys and where his interests lie. Get to know him. Let him know you’re interested in him. Show him you value him. #### What do I do if a child tells me they’re being hit at home? Take the child seriously. Stay calm and listen. Go to the camp leadership right away. Document every step and observation: What was said to whom? What was asked? What steps did you take? Don’t contact the parents for now. That would put the child in direct danger. The camp leadership should contact the local child protection agency directly (in the US, Child Protective Services) or turn to a child abuse hotline or counseling service. There you’ll find trained, experienced professionals who know what to do and will support you every step of the way. You can also get advice anonymously at any time. Very important: the procedure for a case like this, including any legal duty to report where you live, should be clear before it ever happens. The camp leadership and the volunteers should know what to do. What matters: stay calm, don’t act on gut instinct, don’t make hasty statements, bring in professionals. ****Helpful resources:** - What to do if you suspect abuse (US): [What should I do if I suspect child abuse and/or neglect?](https://acf.gov/cb/faq/can6?ref=thepulse.org) from the Children’s Bureau of the US Administration for Children and Families - What you can do (US): the [Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline](https://www.childhelphotline.org/?ref=thepulse.org) has counselors for anyone concerned about child abuse and state-by-state information on how to report - In the UK: [thirtyone:eight](https://thirtyoneeight.org/?ref=thepulse.org), safeguarding advice and a helpline for churches and organizations - What is violence against children? [Violence against children](https://www.unicef.org/protection/violence-against-children?ref=thepulse.org) from UNICEF #### (How) do you work with girls as a guy, or with guys as a girl? ****Basic rule for camp:** Girls always have female group leaders. Boys always have male group leaders. Mixed groups should be led by one female and one male volunteer. The same principle applies to pastoral conversations: male volunteers don’t have pastoral conversations with girls, and female volunteers don’t have pastoral conversations with boys. ****Why:** We want to protect the children and teenagers entrusted to us, and the volunteers too. That’s why volunteers should be trained in child and youth protection for camp ahead of time. A “code of conduct” and a “criminal background check” are essential for every volunteer. The training also has to answer the question: “How do I, as a volunteer, interact with children and teenagers?” ****Helpful resources:** - In the US: [MinistrySafe](https://ministrysafe.com/?ref=thepulse.org) offers abuse prevention training, screening, background checks and policies for churches, camps and student ministries - In the US: [GRACE](https://www.netgrace.org/?ref=thepulse.org) offers safeguarding training and policy development for churches, schools and camps - In the UK: [thirtyone:eight](https://thirtyoneeight.org/?ref=thepulse.org) offers safeguarding advice, training, policy reviews and DBS checks - Your denomination or youth organization probably has its own safeguarding policy and code of conduct as well; ask for it. *English version: October 2026* ![](https://thepulse.org/en/content/images/2026/09/Signup-1.jpg) ## Stay on the pulse. Pulse in English has just begun: ready-made material for youth leaders, parents and educators, free. 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